What a Witch Does
by HecatonchiresLM
Summary: After Kingmans Bluff, Willow goes a little bit further than England for R&R. DiscworldBuffy xover.
1. Chapter 1

**What a Witch Does**

Chapter One

Xander looked down at the sleeping girl he had just placed in the bed. They would have to do something. She was, he didn't want to think ruined, it wasn't a Xander-shaped thought that should be applied to a Willow-shaped friend. She was bent, not broken. Giles could fix her, or... What was that? There was... something waiting in the corner of the room by the foot of the bed. Great, more hellmouthy goodness. He started to draw breath to call for Buffy, even as his feet started to back away to the door, when the something spoke.

"You noticed me boy. Nots many notice me when I don't wants to be noticed. You've got the looking at things you have. Shame you're a man. You could have made a fine Witch. Those daft wizards would just waste your potential."

There were suddenly two old woman dressed in black standing at the foot of Willows bed. On was short and round and looked like your favourite grandmother, or what you'd like her to look like anyway. Xander noticed the neck of a bottle poking out of one of the many pockets that adorned her clothing. Yep, just like his Grandma. The other was the one that had spoken. She was tall, he'd almost thought severe, if he thought that way about women. One of her hands was resting on the bedpost at the foot of the bed.

They were both wearing pointy hats. _They were both wearing pointy hats!. _"You're wearing pointy hats!"

"Be honest Esme, they'd just bugger him up"

"They would at that Gytha, but I'll not be using language like that"

Xander was feeling ignored. "You're witches!"

The tall one, Esme, looked away from her friend and back at him. "Yes, we are. And so is your friend in the bed here."

Willow was curled up, tight as a ball under the covers. There were frown lines marking her face now, even as she slept. Xander's heart ached for his friend.

"We've come for her. A long way."

Xander took a step forward "You can't have her, she needs help"

"Didn't you hear me boy? Yes, we are Witches. Do you know what Witches do?" Esme continued on, brushing past Xanders half started interjection. "Witches walk the edges. Witches know. And Witches" Xander could hear the capitals whenever she said Witch. " Witches help people. Even when they don't know they need helpin, and sometimes when they actively resist it. If there'd been another Witch around here, they might have noticed that she'd started to get the cackle. We would have been here earlier.

Xander had to ask "The cackle? Like the 'ah, ha ha ha hah'"

Esme nodded, a quick sharp movement. "That's a part of it. One of the hardest parts of Witching is knowing when not to Witch. We'll show her that."

Xander thought back over the past year. Willow had started to use the magic a little more every day. It had become like breathing to her.

"That she did boy. That's how it starts. That's how it always starts."

"Hey! How did you do that, was that magic? Are you reading my mind?"

The old woman fixed him with her blue-eyed gaze. He could feel her looking, right, through, him. She blinked, and it stopped. He gave a sigh of relief, and released tension he didn't know he was holding.

"What did I say boy? Magic isn't for the little things. That, that was headology. It's plain to see you care for her. Now, we'll be going. Gytha, get her ready. Rug her up well."

The short round witch started to bustle about with amazing efficiency. Willow was picked up from the bed, wrapped in a cocoon of blankets, including the heavy winter one from the cupboard. A beanie was pulled from the bottom drawer, where Willow kept the winter clothes she never really wore in California, and popped on her head. All without waking her. He wondered if they'd put her under a sleep spell.

Gytha gave Xander a wink. "Thirteen children I had dearie. I knows how not to wake a sleepin babe."

Esme had opened the window while Gytha had been preparing Willow and was now pulling on gloves, and securing her hat with extra hat-pins. Xander felt he had definitely lost control of the situation. "Will you bring her back? How, how long?"

Esme fixed him with another stare. "She'll bring herself back when she's ready."

"Will we be able to call, or write? Email? She loves email."

"The post ain't to regular where we come from. Up in the mountains. We kinda just hand it to the next person heading in the rough direction the letter is addressed. Not to many people come this way from where we live". Gytha had handed Willow to Esme and patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "We'll see what we can do" She raised her voice a bit "Won't we Esme Weatherwax?"

If Esme was irritated, it didn't really show, although her hard lines did seem... harder. "We'll see, Gytha Ogg. Now get on your broom, and no more making eyes at the young man."

Xander blanched. _That_ was making eyes? Gytha chuckled. "If I was younger, you'd not be like that. You'd be begging for a sight of me ankles. I had beautiful ankles I did" she mused. "Well, we must be off"

Xander had felt steamrolled throughout this entire surreal experience, but there was no-way he was going to let two witches kidnap his best friend without doing something. "Wait" he said.

The witches were both straddling brooms now, aimed towards the open window. Willow was somehow balanced in front of Esme Weatherwax.

Xander moved forward, leaned over, and planted a small kiss on Willow's brow. "Help her"

Esme's hard lines seemed to soften as she told him "She needs to help herself. But we can show her how. Now, step back"

The two two Witches kicked off, Esme slightly in the lead, and trailed by a "Toodle-ooooo" from Gytha.

"I'm watching two witches fly, on broomsticks, away with my best friend. And I have no idea where they're going." Xander thought. "How do I explain this?" he said out loud.

"Explain what?" asked Buffy from behind him.

End (for now)

* * *

**Authors Notes**

This is an idea I had directly after reading "A Hat Full of Sky". Esme has dealt with some scary Witches in her time. Is she ready for this one? Expect a few more chapters. Willow probably won't get to speak till chapter three...


	2. Chapter 2

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What a Witch Does

Chapter Two

Granny Weatherwax was hunched as low as she could be over her broom. As low as she could be with another person cradled in front of her anyway. She could barely get low enough for her hat to affect her wind resistance profile. It looked like the trip home would take a little longer than the trip out. Not to long though. Esme knew that if it took to long, something with tentacles for a face might notice them and that would be not good. Therefore she knew, with the ice bright determination of one who knows, it wouldn't take that long 

"Esme!" cried Nany Ogg, "How long?" Granny Weatherwax could barely hear her over the not-wind rushing past her ears. All around them, not-ground didn't rush past underneath, not-stars didn't blur into lines of dark above them and ahead, a wall of not nothing wasn't getting closer very VERY quickly. As long as Esme was assured of this fact, it was true. Possibly. Travelling between meant travelling in places without rules, or at least rules that didn't make sense to minds accustomed to the usual 5 or 6 dimensions. 

"Stay close Gytha, We"re almost there." Strangely, Nanny Ogg didn't have any problems hearing her friend on the broom ahead. Nanny chanced a look behind. The shape of something writhing, a transparent negative overlayed on her vision was close behind. Something that might have been a tentacle was reaching for the bristles at the end of her broom. With a startled yelp, Nanny kicked her broom, hoping to make it move a little faster. 

Witches have a very high tolerance for abstract thought and at the same time, none at all. This sort of paradox is why suddenly Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg were now flying over the Ramtop mountains, and not in a place that is very difficult to describe, being chased by something that cannot be seen. Nanny adjusted her seat, the end result she looked less like a bag of tomatoes and more like a bag of potatoes. Esme loosened her grip on her broom ever so slightly, and checked to make sure her passenger was still asleep. 

"Well, I"ll see you home Esme and help the girl in, but after that I must get back. Our Sean is bringing a girl around and I should be there to see if she's worthy." By worthy she meant "able to be crushed under my huge black buckled boots", and they both knew that, but appearances should be maintained. 

"I"ll thank you for your help Gytha, and don't scare this one to much. Your Sean has been trying. I heard that after this one, he's down to Doreen Shacklerug from down the way." 

Nanny visibly shuddered. "Yes, well, we"ll see. I"m feeling clucky again, I could do with a new grandkid." During the conversation they had flown further, skimming across the top of the trees, closer to a small hut deep in the woods. Spiralling in, they came down for a landing on the path at the front of the house. Esme waited until Gytha had stopped and come over before untagling herself and her charge. The red-headed girl was wrapped in a warm blanket, and had a beanie pulled down over her ears. With Gytha's carrying the girl, and herself carrying their broomsticks, Granny unlocked the front door of her cottage and led them inside. 

"Upstairs, in the spare room. You know the one. I"ll get the kettle on." Granny said. Gytha gave a little grunt as she shifted the girl's weight, but continued on to the stairwell. Granny busied herself with lighting the fire that had already been set in the fireplace, and dangling a large kettle over the hearth.

* * *

Xander was feeling a little nervous. 

Ok, that was an understatement. He was terrified. The cause of his fear was small, blonde, Slayer shaped and holding a very large hammer. Buffy was currently casually tossing the haft of the massive weapon from hand to hand, all the while smiling in that way she smiled at Willy the Snitch. Xander used to to love that smile. Now, not so much. Now, he was all for the hating of the smile. 

"So, let me get this straight. You"re WATCHING Willow, and while watching her you decide to just GIVE HER AWAY to UNKNOWN POSSIBLY WITCHES because they SAY they"ll help her after she went all Darth Willow and tried to KILL us all!" And you do this WITHOUT calling us, by which I mean ME, and letting us, still ME know, and WITHOUT finding out where they were taking her?" 

Yep. Hating the smile. "Look, they were Witches you know. With a capital W. Dressed in black. You should have seen them." 

"YES Xander, that's EXACTLY the point, I SHOULD have seen them!" Buffy's smile was definitely not reflected in her eyes. "And since when do we TRUST people dressed in BLACK on the HELLMOUTH"!" 

Ah. Logic. Maybe she wasn't completely hysterical then. Maybe he could save this. "See Buffster, I can still call you Buff?" 

Suddenly the door was slammed open. Dawn was standing there, fire in her eyes. "Did I hear that?" 

"Heya Dawnie.." 

"Don't you hey Dawnie me Alexander Harris! Did I just overhear you correctly?!" There was no way he was getting out of this safely now. He noticed Buffy's smile had shifted to a smirk that did reach her eyes. Well, at least she had calmed down a bit. 

"I was just thinking that Wills looked a little off and then I noticed something at the end of the bed and then there were two women there and they had BIG POINTY HATS and they were Witches with a capital and the way she looked at me?" 

"Breath Xander!" Buffy said. Dawn looked slightly a taken back by his awesome torrent of babble. "What can you remember. Did they say where they were taking them.?" Dawn opened her mouth, about to say something, but stopped at a look from Buffy. 

"Umm, Esme Earwax? She was the tall one. Nanny Hog? She reminded me of my Nan anyway, Mountains... maybe Colorado?" They said the mail wasn't to regular, and then they flew away, on BROOMS! Willow always said that was a phallo-centric view of witching, and that it wasn't true. Guess that shows her huh?" Xander was starting to feel a little" off. 

"Is that all Xand? Buffy's calling me Xand. Maybe I"ll make it out of this alive! 

"Umm, they mentioned the cackle. Apparently, another Witch should have noticed it, and would have snapped her out of it" 

"The cackle" Like rice bubbles?" Dawn seemed a little calmer too. 

"No Dawn, they meant the laugh, didn't they Xander." Back to Xander? Oh Well. 

"I think so Buff. And they said they wouldn't help her, they'd make her help herself. I think I kinda had the idea it was a twelve step program for Witches." 

Just then, the bedroom door opened and Giles walked in. "Ah I was looking for you all. I've organised the plane tickets. I need you to find Willows passport. Do you know where it is." He looked up from the papers he was reading, catching sight of the empty bed. "Where's Willow?" 

End Chapter 2

* * *

**Authors Note**

I need to reread all the Granny Weatherwax books. And rewatch end of season 6 to see peoples physical condition. Can't for the life of me remember if people were banged up, bleeding, broken armed or what. 

Next Chapter - Willow Wakes Up! 


End file.
